Careering.

I just got back from going to see Veronica about my Practicum. I had really been dreading it, because I was convinced that I was just going to screw it up completely, or that I would discover that I'm completely ill-suited for working in a library, or something. I also had visions of being thrust on the Reference Desk alone, and being completely lost. I don't feel that way anymore.

In point of fact, I feel pretty enthusiastic about the experience. Veronica seems like a nice woman: she has a picture of Bowie on her bulletin board, and called one of my former employers "The Evil Empire". Plus, she's not a morning person; I don't tend to trust morning people.

We went over the details of the practicum, what is required and whatnot. Turns out I will be shadowing her at the Reference Desk the first few times, and then after that, she will be shadowing me. In other words, I will never be expected to man it alone. I will be assisting her when she has to teach research methods classes to undergraduates, and I will be weeding the education collection, most of which is in storage. The Project that I am expected to accomplish is organize a webpage on those U.S. News & World Report college ranking lists, which I think I can handle.

Plus, Glory of Glories! I get to have a desk! A real desk with three cubicle walls and a new computer! This may not sound like much, but believe me: It is. I'm 30 years old, and have never had a job with a desk of my own.

A funny thing happened midway through our meeting: I realized I knew what she was talking about. I knew about the approval plans, I knew about the subject guides, I knew the statistics on the number of students who actually use the chat application to ask reference questions. It was like, suddenly I felt like a librarian. Not felt like: Suddenly I was (am) a librarian. This isn't to suggest that I have any experience at it (hence the practicum), or that I will be any good at it. Just that it's the first time that I've ever felt like I have a career. And maybe the first time that I was suddenly confident that it was something I can do. When I first started, I was really worried that maybe this wasn't something I could do, so this sudden confidence is a little intoxicating.

Of course, that might just be the caffeine from the crappuccino kicking in.

Either way, my final semester has begun quite promising.

Song: "I'm Waiting for the Man" by The Velvet Underground.