If This Blog Were A Human...

...it'd still be sh!tting in its diapers.

However, the diapers would be bigger. And it would be moving around on it's own, belching forth word salad (among other things), and sticking inappropriate things in its mouth. Y'know, in an innocent way.

That's right, somehow my little runt of a blog has survived its first tumultuous year. Where other, better bloggers have fallen by the wayside, losing interest in their blogs as life intervened, I have soldiered on, struggling to pretend I have anything to say by relentlessly bitching about my employment situation, and mining the lives of family and friends (as well as mining other, better blogs) for content.

My first post was dated August 2, 2004, and consisted of me bitching about a flat tire, one of three flats I've had during the lifetime of this blog. Later that same day, I discovered the seductive allure of pillaging, when I posted a Dante's Divine Comedy Test that Gwenda (who, although she may not know it, was instrumental in the establishment of this blog; she makes keeping a good blog look easy) had posted on her fine blog. A pattern that would be repeated ad nauseum over the course of the next year.

I think my posts have improved slightly, at least as far as they actually sound like I speak. I finally decided that I didn't need to post when I had nothing to say, which I figure at least the seven people who subscribe to me on Bloglines would appreciate. That was around the time that I quit trying to do linkdumps, usually half of the links being stolen directly from Boing Boing.

There have been a few posts that I've been rather pleased by, including:

• The Redford Rathole Picture (A real house by my work, the graphiti has since been painted over. I was always curious about what the story behind it was.)
• The Straight Agenda (Slightly shrill, but I think I made my point pretty well.)
• The Lamentable Tragedy of the Stockboy's Revenge (Just because. At least I adjusted the format so the cast list doesn't disappear as you scroll down -- I finally figured out that that was the result of the dividing lines.)

You would think I would have more than three memorable posts, but then again, maybe three isn't all that bad. I've seen blogs where three memorable posts would count as something of a miracle.

(I also liked My Ideas For Future Writing Projects, but only because I still entertain the notion that I will actually do something with the ideas someday. [I have since decided that Oscar Wilde and Whistler should be occult detectives. And I still think the "Jesus Christ: Teen Detective" series could be huge!])

I seemed to recall that I had something insightful to say about the election, but looking over my posts from then, it mostly amounts to MP3s, and me explaining why Heaven 17 and Stetsasonic are so relevant for the times we live in. Memory is a tricky animal.

So anyways, thank you to the 5600 hits my blog has gotten since it occured to me to put a counter on my page. And thank you to everyone who has seen fit to link to here: I'm not sure why you do, but I appreciate it. Thank you to the seven visitors who I know read this blog regularly. I'd like to thank God, for with him, all things are possible. I'd like to thank the good people at William Morris, and Shlomo Feinstein, my agent: it couldn't happen without you, Shlomo! Thank you, India; thank you, Pakistan. Thank you for the music, for giving it to me. Thank you, falettinme be mice elf agin. Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto.

A Bit Of Unwanted History: The original name of this blog was The Cornjob Memorial "Um-Well": you can still find it in Blogshares if you google it. When Blogspot asked for my blog's title, I immediately thought, "Um, well..." I pictured a well, like one with water and everything, only 'um'-mier, I guess. "Cornjob" was the title of the zine I never finished way back in the 1990s, so I was happy to finally put that to good use. And everything is better when it's Memorial, no? Sounds much more official. For a fraction of a second, I almost thought that first name was clever, but then my brain started doing it's job. Thank heaven for small blessings. Since I was a library student, The Cornjob Memorial Library seemed appropriate, and I think it sounds a lot better. Sounds like someplace I would like to go to.

Urthona is a character from William Blakes illuminated prophecies, a constant source of inspiration for me. Seriously. 73 is the year I was born. Not too much mystery where the address is concerned. It's my e-mail address. Although, as I stated before, I wish I had changed it to something like cornjob.blogspot.com before I started getting linked to.