Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve!!

This just makes me sick:

A bill by [Alabama state] Rep. Gerald Allen, R-Cottondale, would prohibit the use of public funds for "the purchase of textbooks or library materials that recognize or promote homosexuality as an acceptable lifestyle." Allen said he filed the bill to protect children from the "homosexual agenda."

Allen said that if his bill passes, novels with gay protagonists and college textbooks that suggest homosexuality is natural would have to be removed from
library shelves and destroyed.

"I guess we dig a big hole and dump them in and bury them," he said. . . .

If the bill became law, public school textbooks could not present homosexuality as a genetic trait and public libraries couldn't offer books with gay or bisexual characters.

Because all those Ronald Firbank novels are destroying this country's young people! Anyways, it's only Alabama, and it's only a state legislator, right? But look more locally:

Governor Removes Same Sex Benefits

An aide says [Michigan] Governor [Jennifer]Granholm will remove same-sex partner benefits from contracts negotiated with state workers. The decision is in response to a voter-approved amendment to the Michigan Constitution that bans gay marriage. Granholm aide David Fink [Me: "Nice name, guy!"] says negotiated contracts scheduled for adoption by the state Civil Service Commission on December 15th will be stripped of the same-sex benefits. Fink holds the title of state employer. He says the Granholm administration decided to eliminate the benefits because of the passage of Proposal Two, which defines marriage as the union of one man and one woman.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Personally, I'm sick of my tax dollars going to promote heterosexuality; I don't see that the government should be in the business of advancing The Straight Agenda, nor should it be recruiting impressionable young people with the ill-conceived (no pun intended) propaganda that is allowed to circulate within our public schools. Rampant heterosexualism pervades our schools, and all the politicians do is encourage the behavior!

Don't get me wrong, some of my best friends are straight, and what they do in the privacy of their own home is their business; I try not to judge. You might even be surprised to learn that there are straight people in my family, and I love them just as much as if they were gay. As Freud might say, I hate the neuroses, but love the neurotic. I support them however I can, for the life of the heterosexual in society can often be a lonely and alienated one, what with the incessant unrealistic portrayals of heterosexual relationships that permeate our popular culture, setting the bar for romantic success so high that only Beautiful People In Designer Clothes can attain it. The pressure this puts upon straight people must be virtually unbearable. I admire their pluck and determination, and am proud of the courage they display when they finally come out of the closet, and into the Family Room. I try not to think about the more biological aspects of heterosexuality too much; the image of two people of different genders kissing is one I just find too disturbing. Nevermind all that other stuff. Mostly, I just feel pity for them.

But when straight people feel the need to flaunt their lifestyle choice in front of God and everybody, I simply have to draw the line! Heterosexuality tends to lead to excessive breeding and higher rates of divorce, neither of which I think ought to be encouraged. Why can't they just be happy comprising roughly 96% of the population, and leave the rest of us to live our simple lives, unencumbered by the burden of birth control?? Is that so wrong??

(That last line ought to be read in the voice of Harvey Fierstein.)

Song: Judy Garland: "You'll Never Walk Alone"