Wander Indiana

So I'm back home now, with two extremely tired dogs (one dog is sleeping off the mild tranquilizer I gave her for the car ride) lying next to the computer. The family reunion went well enough, with, at one point, sixteen of my uncles, aunts, cousins, and various of their significant others and spawn, along with five dogs, using the three bedroom house in Indiana as their base of operations. Plus my parents, my brother (who dialed down his occasionaly dickishness for most of the weekend) and myself.

As is standard with Bernfield family gatherings, the English language was often distorted, and frequently ritually slaughtered on a metaphorical altar, all in the service of trying to get the most number of relatives to laugh at one time as possible. This was often aided by any number of alcoholic beverages that flowed freely all weekend, my favorite being Smirnoff Green Apple Twist malt beverages -- I'm not very butch when it comes to alcohol consumption. Among the most memorable quotes, only two of which may be attributed to me:

• "The gummies are coming, the gummies are coming!"
• "Man-sister??"
• "The mayor and vice-mayor of our street..." [emphasis mine]
• "Look, Will: a golden shower!"
• "All water is somebody's piss, Kurt."
• "That's not how we do things in Pittsford!"
• "You've been on page 115 for an hour and a half."
• "What's the fucking the deal, bitch?"

Believe me, they were much funnier in context; I just don't have the patience to explain the context to you, and it probably wouldn't be funny in the retelling. So just do me a favor, and imagine your own context. Might be fun.

Unfortunately, I had to come back for work tomorrow. I think everyone else is still in Indiana, many of whom may still be nursing the remains of their hangovers.

I did finish (well, started and finished) Equal Rites and Small Gods by Terry Pratchett, and am halfway through A. Lee Martinez's Gil's All Fright Diner. I set the Trollope aside for the weekend, because it is really dragging down my number of books for this year.

Also, I have a live interview with the Indiana library next week. They have reimbursal for my hotel and mileage, which is a very good thing, indeed.

Song: The Magnetic Fields, "Acoustic Guitar"