Clark Hearts Morticia

So the party the other night. My birthday party. It went well, although circumstances always seem to conspire against my ever having a really successful birthday. Well, last year was good, except for the bitchy pre-op transexual. Long, long story. But this year, my birthday sort of was orbitting a major bruhaha going on at the school that Julie, Jolie, and Marcy work at. And because the get-together was immediately after their work day, there were like 4 other teachers there. And I don't know whether you have any teacher friends, but when you put more than a couple together, you tend to get an endless string of Teacher Stories. They gossip about the kids, they gossip about the administration, they gossip about the parents, the gossip about the other teachers. It's a little like talking to veterans -- not an inappropriate metaphor, considering the fact that the school is in Detroit, and there has been at least one attempted drive-by during the time that Julie has worked there -- they always seem to have shared experiences, even if they didn't fight/teach on the same front/school. I've joked before about all the women in this social circle being teachers, and all the men being automotive engineers, and I really wasn't kidding.

So Julie shows up with the pizzas from Pizza Papalis. She has bought a spinach and mushroom pizza for me, which irritates me; after living with me for 3 years and knowing me for 16, you would think she could remember that I don't like mushrooms. The pizza turned out to be OK, but it's the thought that counts.

Amanda (Blondie from the previous par-tay) showed up with her Yorkie, Nemo. She is the closest I have ever gotten to meeting the lead character from Legally Blonde. I swear, the dog had on a jacket with a fake fur lining around the collar. It was so great! Apparently she really liked me from the previous party, mostly because I was the only one there enjoying her brie. I wasn't sure if Julie had made it clear I am gay -- it's hard to imagine she hasn't, since she flings around that fact with a carelessness that is indicative of never actually having to come out to anyone on her own behalf. I am also pretending here that if I were straight, Amanda would even be a dating option for me, but I chalk that up to boundless optimism. Anyways, I did the "You-Know-I'm-Gay-Right?" bit by casually mentioning that the baker I got my cake from was really hot, which he was, but then she asked if she would have thought he was hot. I was honestly stymied, and I have no idea why. If anything, she seemed to be more friendly towards me, which is nice. She bought me beer as a birthday present, which is good, and gave me a card with it that read:

Bill,
Happy - Happy birthday to you big boy!
XO XO,
Nemo + Amanda

I like that she signed the dog's name first. Jolie gave me a $25.00 gift certificate at Borders, Julie and Marcy split the cost for the pizzas, and Julie also gave me the DVD of the 3rd season of Strangers With Candy.

Anyways, one of the two teachers who had been fired (it's more complicated than that, but I'm not a teacher, and don't want to go into it) also came to the party, so she stole some of my spotlight, especially since she had a cookie cake she made and that everyone ate before I could pull my cake out of the refrigerator. I feel bad she lost her job, but I lost mine, too, and no one had a party for me then!

With all the teacher chatter, we weren't able to watch either of the two Gilmore Girls episodes that Jolie has TiVo-ed. We ended up just watching Lost, only that meant that we had to explain the entire thing to all the neophytes (it's only the third episode, and it's already pretty complicated), and Julie isn't able to do that with any brevity. The rest of us were too busy trying to pay attention to what was going on.

Julie, Marcy and I left at about 9:30PM, since they all have to wake up pretty early in the morning. The other women were still there, which I felt a little bad for on Jolie's behalf.

All-in-all, it was a pretty good birthday, better than most, but not as good as last year.