The Condom Canines Depend On...

...To Prevent Unwanted Pregnancy.

Now, I am not sure whether this is true or merely a conceptual art hoax posted online by savvy pranksters -- because, in a world where "intelligent design" is considered a legitimate alternative to teaching evolution in science classes, who can tell? -- but apparently there is a recall on dog condoms. Apparently the meat-scented condoms encouraged the dogs to get a more oral in their sex than is otherwise the case, with incidents of choking being the result:

Another 15 consumers reported choking incidents resulting from animals attempting to ingest Dog Condoms® meat-scented condoms. No fatalities were reported as a result of the choking incidents, but medical intervention was required in 4 cases.

Well, that, and they didn't seem to work outside of a vetinarian's office.

Regarding the product, allow me to quote the website:

What Sizes and Scents Do They Come In?
Dog condoms come in three sizes to fit small, medium, and large breeds. Almost every dog will find a comfortable, well-proportioned condom to meet their needs. The condoms also come in lubricated and meat scented varieties to enhance pleasure for both dog partners.

How Effective Are They?
Clinical studies are still underway, but we expect them to be about as effective, if used correctly, as human condoms.

Can I Train My Dog To Put It On Himself?
No, the dog will require human intervention each time he wishes to put on or take off a condom.

What About Female Condoms for Bitches?
We recognize that birth control is the responsibility of both partners, and we are currently working on a prototype of a condom for female dogs. However, we don't expect it to reach the market until 2007.

What About Loss of Sensation?
Just like with human condoms, the dog may experience a slight loss of sensation. However, the condoms are made of a very thin latex which should transmit heat well, a key factor in creating a lifelike feel. We are also experimenting with new scents, which work like a "doggy Viagra", providing further sensory stimulation.

This damn near made my day.

Via Jeff: he's entirely to blame!